Kevin Smith: “How are you going to get laid if you look like an old person?” | Movies

Would you like to direct an MCU or Star Wars movie? HBrint and Jay_Murpheus

No. It’s a wild ride – you’re going to piss someone off. Fandom is rabid and tribal. When I worked on Masters of the Universe, I got a lot of warmth from people who felt like they had ruined their childhood. Approaching a Marvel or a Star Wars would make me wildly reluctant. They’ve got a billion people making these movies, but nobody’s making Kevin Smith movies, so might as well make them.

Are you still vegan? haunted sandwich

I became a vegan after my heart attack four and a half years ago and have remained a vegan ever since. There have been times when someone said, “Oh, there’s milk in it,” and I crumbled because I felt like I was cheating on my daughter, who got me into veganism. The beautiful thing about veganism is that it cuts you out of all the fun and fattening foods, but you lose weight and look younger, and in this world of appearances, that’s that’s what it’s all about. How are you going to get fucked if you look like an old person?

What was it like working with Alan Rickman in Dogma? CWilliams1955

Happiness. Turns out Alan Rickman was my friend. I was such a fan from the moment I saw him in Die Hard. I assumed we were just associates, but he kept in touch the rest of his life. Every time I was in England he would call out of the blue and say – I can’t do the voice: “I know you’re here, it’s time to get out.” He wasn’t just professionally courteous because we did a movie together 20 years ago. I still can’t believe that Alan Rickman really loves me.

One of my favorite memories is when he came to one of my gigs at the O2 in London and we walked into town together. He said, “I finally broke up and bought an apartment in New York.” I said, “That’s excellent.” He said, “It’s not great, it’s in the same building as my friend Ralph.” I said, “Why is this bad?” And he said, “Ralph Fiennes.” If the world of Harry Potter found out that Snape and Voldemort lived in the same building, they would burn it down!”

Clerks III obviously evoked feelings of your fear of the heart. How did you feel watching him behind the camera and what was the hardest scene to recreate from the original Clerks? ThisisDouch and Gareth0

You have to remember that I’m the ringmaster. It would be weird if I was surprised when I found elephants at the circus. I wanted the cast to know what it was like to be me – walking around in stoner haze. When I was writing it, I thought, “If I play my cards right, we’re gonna be standing in the exact same places and saying the exact same things we were almost 30 years ago, and it’s gonna be a fucking mind “. .” Sure enough, when we arrived on set, Brian [O’Halloran, who plays Dante Hicks]Jeff [Anderson, Randal Graves] and Jason [Mewes, Jay] everyone said, “Oh my God. I stood here 30 years ago and said the exact same thing.

Kevin Smith as Silent Bob with Jason Mewes as Jay in Mallrats. Photography: PictureLux/The Hollywood Archive/Alamy

Why did you make Bob (mostly) quiet? ThePhantomPigeon and wellywearer2

Bob is silent only so you can focus on Jay, which is based on Jason Mewes when he was 16: a chatter of conscience. I didn’t need Jay to have conversations, I just needed someone he could talk to. Kids hanging out outside convenience stores selling weed always have a bigger, quieter kid with them, who I’ve always assumed was the muscle. I thought, “I gotta give this guy some muscle in the form of this quiet dude.”

What inspired the “stinky palm tree”, and who would you most like to give one to? Bauhaus66 and randomlexis

The stink palm was invented for the Mallrats. It’s not even one of my proudest jokes, but, boy, did it last. Nobody ever did it to me and I never did it to anybody. It seemed like a weird and rude thing to do. Who deserves one in real life? It’s hard, man. I try not to wish harm on anyone.

Would you have had the same career trajectory if you were born in the 21st century, or did you hit the sweet spot between VHS and DVD? Ajyates33

I arrived at the perfect moment between filmmaking and YouTube. I was the last one through the door where they said, “Hey, this kid did something, isn’t it amazing?” Five years later, the floodgates would have opened and there would have been a billion mes. My voice would have been totally lost in the 21st century sea of ​​much more talented YouTubers and TikTokers. I watch TikTok and thank the Lord that I was Cinderella, like they did in the 80s and 90s.

Is this Gumtree/Walrus story really true? TurangaLeela2

It’s 100% true. Chris Parkinson – who we’ve named associate producer – decided to write this prank on where this guy was offering a room in his mansion for free, but for an hour a day you had to dress in what he described as “an incredibly realistic walrus costume”. So we transformed Tusk from that.

You are an excellent filmmaker but an even better storyteller. Discuss. PaulMariner

I agree 100%: I am a much better speaker than a filmmaker. I would stop making films, but then I would have nothing more to tell. Ironically, I make more money talking about making movies on stage than making movies. I’ve backed into stand-up comedy, through filmmaking. It’s as if the universe told me: your films are cute, but you speak better.

Alanis Morissette, Alan Rickman and Kevin Smith in Dogma
Alanis Morissette, Alan Rickman and Kevin Smith in Dogma. Photography: PictureLux/The Hollywood Archive/Alamy

Does your wife give you a hard time because of the way you dress? Pitkin88

My wife gave up my sartorial splendor a long time ago. Looking at how I’ve been dressed for the past 24 years, hats off to her, because I looked terrible wearing a zippered sleeveless hoodie, hockey jersey and basketball shooters- ball. She never said, “I have to stand next to you on a red carpet looking like this?” So God bless her.

Would you rather have friends in high places or friends in high places? Hao Tian

Friends in high places are expensive, but you can never go wrong with friends in high places.

Regrets? cjmadden

Even movies that don’t work end up working. Mallrats was a huge box office flop, so you gotta eat shit for a while. Professionally, no regrets. Personally, I would have liked to know my father better. We were close, but he wasn’t as open as I was. I wear my heart on my sleeve – there’s nothing my child doesn’t know about me. But my father is still something of a mystery. He never encouraged me to make movies – I was a silly kid – but sitting next to him in the dark watching movies was how I learned so much about humanity. You will learn a lot about someone if, as a child, you watch what makes a grown man laugh and cry. I remember him crying at Raging Bull and thinking, “You’re allowed to cry at a fake story and that’s okay?” It’s tacit permission to fall in love with art.

Jason Mewes and Smith in Clerks III
Stoner double act… Jason Mewes and Smith in Clerks III. Photography: Lionsgate

Was it really the death of your dog that made you give up your Catholic education? Top Tramp

Dogma made me turn my back on my Catholic upbringing. My dog ​​died years later. At that time, my relationship with the Lord and religion was already different. You are fed lines from an early age and accept them as God given truth. When you get older, you think, “That’s only true because someone told me it was true when I was a kid.” Even after Dogma, I still clung to the idea of ​​God and heaven, but it slowly slipped away. I miss it sometimes. When I meet spiritual people, I always feel for them because I miss believing that shit. There’s a simplicity, comfort and romance to knowing what’s going to happen when you leave this world. Now I realize that I will just rot in the ground and not find my father or my deceased dog. Although I like to be pragmatic, it was nice to have believed for as long as I did.

What are the chances of your Prince documentary emerging? McScootikins

Very high. The director of OJ: Made in America is making a documentary for Netflix, and came to the house to interview me. When they went into the vaults after Prince died, they found so much unreleased music and so many music videos, but the only footage of him talking was the one I shot. It’s extraordinary: he acts differently from the way he’s acted his whole life, and he talks for hours and hours. Looks like he’s finally going to see the light.

Is smoking weed good for creativity? JohnnyTextface

Smoking weed does not make you creative. What it does is reduce inhibition, and it’s very powerful when you pick up the pen. You have a million great ideas, and then it’s the second voice shouting them out, “Why would anyone care?” You listen to this voice because it is easier to believe the negative than the positive. Weed lets you take the hit and smoke the second voice down: “What if it’s stupid?” Let’s try, man. You’re working through inhibition and suddenly you’re doing creative things on the page that you wouldn’t normally do.

Clerks III is available digitally from October 14

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